I announced my idea to my friends on a car forum to gauge a response and was overwhelmed with support and encouragement to go for it, a PM from one member Dan said ‘I’m in; he wanted to do the whole thing with me, another friend Ian, offered to be the support driver. Boyed with this encouragement, the route was flushed out and a tentative date of September 20 was selected for the start. 

At this point the route was to launch from somewhere near the Dartford Crossing, head to Folkstone/Hythe and allocate a week waiting on the weather and tides for a suitable opportunity to be escorted across the Channel, head into the canals at Calais and work down to Paris, loop around to the centre of France and then join the Eastern French rivers to the Mediterranean and on to St. Tropes. 

The cost of the Channel crossing Escort alone was £7,500 + VAT. Add to that the late dates of suitable tides and we wouldn’t be in the Med’ much before Christmas when the weather would not be in our favour. 

Dan and I did a couple of pool sessions and I managed a couple of the weekend paddles out on the Crouch, this included a trip around Wallasea Island. Dan’s focus had to move to his business, and he could not make the sessions.  

Over the summer it became obvious the Channel crossing was sadly impractical, not least the politics in play but essentially the cost and the inevitable delay it would cause. So, we tweaked the idea and opted to go from Tower Bridge instead and to take the ferry over the Channel. I was much more comfortable with this. I had also discovered the existence of a map published in 2013 of the French rivers and waterways navigable by kayak! When I say it was published in 2013, it was never reprinted, I searched for hours, weeks, even months to no avail, I found snippets of it in thumbnails but never the whole thing, I even requested French libraries and even tried the British Library. Then by an absolute fluke, I found a new one in a Spanish bookshop atop a mountain village, the ancient and basic website listed the ISBN and they confirmed they had it, furthermore they sold it to me at list price of €5.99, the postage was €12! Possession of this map allowed a major rethink of the route; out was Paris, instead we would take the coast from Calais, down to the Baie de Somme, follow the Somme canal to Ham, the Canal de Saint Quentin, the Lateral a L’Oise and L’Aisne, climbing though Riems. Sticking with the canals for the climb, Canal de l’Aisne a la Marne, and then the Canal entre Champagne et Bourgogne to Langres. Here we could leave the canal, in theory we could climb around the dam of the Resevoir de la Liez, paddle across it and then with a short portage by road to Bourbonne-les-Bains we could pick up the Apance river to Châtillon-sur-Saône, here the Petit Saone would take us to the Grande Saone and the mighty Rhone onto the Mediterranean. From the reservoir on it would be a mixture of river and canalised rivers.

The altitude of the canal by the reservoir is 350m this being the highest point in the French canal system. The revised route is around 1,850km or 1,150 miles or 1,000 nautical miles of paddling! 

In September I went to Kent Canoes and spent a king’s ransom on gear and a Perception Carolina 14’ which was made for my size. I also designed and made a lifter to the roof bars of my van to make loading easier. It was decided a reconnoitre was required to test the less predictable sections of the trip and to sample some local food and drink! The limitations of Google Maps are many when it comes to rivers as the only images are those from road bridges. 

Unfortunately, Dan could not make the trip but Ian and I set off with the new loader, loaded with kayak and a van full of kit, we made for Ypres and had a sombre evening at the Menin Gate, visited some significant WWI sites and then made for Reservoir de la Liez, investigated how we could get from the canal to the reservoir which seems entirely practical.  

We drove around the reservoir and found an extraction point, at this time of year however there was 300m of potential mud to cross! A night at Bourbonne-les-Bains and a morning dip into the Apance with the Kayak, fully kitted I got < 5m before having to get out and walk it over shallows, back in and 50m till more and so on for the first km or so with fallen trees to negotiate, it did at least get deep enough to paddle on open bits but upon encountering a ruined mill I was committed to dragging the boat over the smashed  weir, more shallows and many tree falls, chokes and blockages, I managed to get through, Châtillon-sur-Saône was at 17km but at 14km, four ruined mills countless blockages and over 4 hours later I was spent, bordering hyperthermic and Ian was waiting on a (rare) bridge over the river so I extracted.  

I am fairly sure I’m the only person to have kayaked that river and somehow, I doubt I’ll return. 

We checked out the Petit Saone upstream and found Godoncourt to be a reasonable substitute to drop into the river come the event. There may well be fallen trees and old mills but not to the same degree. 

On the positive side I encountered some magnificent wildlife, a kingfisher, two coypu and what I am convinced must have been an ocelot! We headed North to Peronne for the night and the following day I had an easing paddle in the Canal de Somme, mostly to experience the effort required to portage the locks on the French canals of which there are potentially 241 to negotiate on the full route. We followed the river and canal West to the Baie de Somme to get a feel for it and to see the entrance and sea locks. 

I managed to get to the November pool session and one more paddle out on the Crouch with the club in 2019. 

The only other point of note was upon reflection from the recce the trip was postponed to a planned departure in mid-August 2021 to give more preparation time. 

I failed to make the only weekend run out by the club before lockdown due to other commitments and the Wednesday evenings had barely got underway before they too were thwarted. 

In April I invested in a rather fancy rowing machine for the household, amazingly it is not too dusty even today! 

It was the middle of July 2020 before we were let out onto the water again when we went down the Crouch on a falling tide and risked getting caught in the mud amongst the samphire on Wallasea! What I had done however was make a Wednesday evening, I endeavoured to make as many as I could for the rest of the summer and autumn. 

August opened with a CKC club paddle Fambridge to Battlesbridge, a much-welcomed run that highlighted my poor technique, Adrian pointed out I was reliant on my arms and not my core for power. I worked on this through the next few sessions and solo outings on the Chelmer Navigation. 

By October and the Stour outing, I had vastly improved things, such that I made the following Wednesday outing 3-days later and the unofficial paddle out on the following Sunday when what was meant to be an easy paddle out turned into a chase to Foulness Point and back in a developing storm! 

Meet the Beast!

With the nation back in lockdown, the only paddling done so far has been virtual. However there have been some major decisions made regarding the trip. I have reengaged Dan as my buddy to make the journey and we have refined the route with achievable goals and expectations. I have confirmed with St. Katherine’s Dock they are happy to host us for a launch venue, they are fully onboard and will accommodate any press we can get to cover it.

They have also suggested a practice run on a similar tide beforehand as exiting the dock is not the easiest with swirling currents out to Tower Bridge. Hopefully, the club can take advantage of this invitation later in the summer. 

We have moved the whole adventure to the spring of 2022 with a start date of Saturday 12th March when there is the most favourable tide on the Thames, at 5.4m it is not too high, we do hope to be able to make Gravesend on it. 

The move to springtime will likely see some grim conditions for the estuary and coastal sections both sides of the Channel but the amazing thing about these parts is there are favourable currents at certain times in each tide we can take advantage of. We will get the benefit of higher water levels in the rivers and fresher water generally. 

We will also be paddling into hotter weather as we head South. By the time we make the Mediterranean we still have 200 miles to go! This may be a little hot, but we should be in great condition to cope with it by then. 

More planning and consideration were given to finding suitable kayaks and personal welfare along the way. I managed to pick up a virtually new 9’ Dagger XL for not a lot, it will be ideal for pool sessions (when they are allowed again) and for river work. Dan is joining the club for this season; we will aim to find out if we are compatible in a double kayak and if so, we will look to get something fast and yet suitable for the French canals where the sides are as high as 5’ at portage points! Mostly though consideration was given to support vehicles; 

* Do we want to go fully self-sufficient such as a big  American RV and a trailer for the kayaks? 

* Do we want to convert an old coach or bus? 

* Do we want a minibus and large trailer? 

* Do we want to go hotels all the way? 

Working it through logically, the physical challenge is massive so we want to primarily use hotels and B&B accommodation so we can all enjoy comfortable nights. However, in the rural parts this may not be practical and we felt a backup was required, we could just throw some tents in the back and that would be a contingency. Dan has and offered his big American double cab pick-up truck as the vehicle for the trip, it is perfect as it is left hand drive and can easily fit the three of us. This sealed it that we would be best served with the support and welfare being in the form of a large trailer. One that could carry the boats, kit, basic food prep, toilet and at least the tents. I thought however we could probably make it rather more functional. I talked to many trailer manufacturers around the UK and kept hitting dead ends, the stumbling block always being trying to accommodate a 22’ double K2 or similar is just not practical in a covered unit. There are however a couple that can. Essentially based on covered car transporters but these start at £13k and go up to more than £30k! I found this all very disillusioning, I started to trawl various marketplaces online and considered a second-hand yacht trailer as a base upon which to build. These were wildly priced or had been buried in swamps for years making them too much work. After weeks of trawling, I chanced upon a 2018 built race car transporter with accommodation incorporated. It was being sold in Leicester and seemed too good to be true. I hastily arranged a Covid secure viewing and it checked out! A deal was made and I collected it a few days later. Presently it is at Dan’s business base at Clacton but I hope to relocate it to BSC and put it in the boat store. It is not perfect but we will be able to modify it to suit the needs of the trip, it has a kitchen, WC and a double bed now, we will convert the seating to give a second bed and even a third in the garage. We will add a hot shower also in the garage part and accommodation for the smaller kayaks and bikes. The roof will gain solar panels and a roof rack for the bigger boats. The sides will make a great location for sponsorship decals as they are secured. 

Principally we will be raising funds to make this adventure happen: 

Corporate sponsorship, Dan and I will be putting together a corporate sponsorship package to help fund the challenge, this will hopefully recover our personal outlay which will be significant. 

Sponsorship, any sponsorship money will mostly be split between the Bone Cancer Research Trust and buying defibrillators for public buildings and locations. Other charities will include RNLI and air ambulances. The actual split will be decided after the event. A sponsorship website will be made closer to the event. 

Througout the year we will post updates of how Newton and Dan are progressing.